Feral (Part 2)

This morning, the dark kitten, the one my daughter calls the “fluffy, neurotic one,” hissed at me as I walked into the bathroom.  He always greets me with this reminder of his wild beginnings, his wild mother, his own wild nature that resists being with me.  Within moments, however, he climbed onto the cat tree that I was standing next to and let me pet him.  As I gently scratched behind his ears, neck and back, his body collapsed into the carpeting, every muscle relaxed so that he looked a little flattened, his purr signaling complete approval.

Dave and I have a dilemma.  Dave says we don’t need another cat, another animal, one more responsibility.  As it is, we feed Sima, our Siamese nibbler, separately from Tasha, our couch potato cat, who attends FWW, Feline Weight Watchers.  Kittens would need another feeding regimen altogether and need to be fed separately as well.  Besides our cats, we have 3 goats, 2 llamas, 6 chicks, and one hen.  Not to mention the feral Mama Cat that has adopted us.  Or is it that we adopted her?

He’s right that these animals complicate our lives.  When we want to travel, there are so many directions for whomever we choose to care for our menagerie.  This morning, I took Tasha to eat with the kittens.  This went smoothly until the dark kitten jumped onto the toilet, and then looked threateningly as he considered jumping on the sink counter where Tasha was eating.  Tasha hissed, panicked, and then refused to finish her food.  Tasha never refuses to finish her food.

Still, in time, it could all work out if….

If I really want the fluffy neurotic kitten, clearly my favorite, Dave might eventually give in.  We’ve been together long enough for me to know that if I have a heart’s desire (and I beg long enough), most of the time, Dave will let me have my way, even though it is not what he wants, and he may resent the decision later.  This isn’t always good for him or for me either.  I’m sure there have been times that I’ve taken advantage of this, but I try not to.  Right now, I want to move slowly, careful of Dave’s reasoning and his desire, while still acknowledging what I want — if I knew what I wanted.  I’m still not sure exactly why this kitten draws me to him so much.  Makes me wonder about my own fluffy, neurotic self.

I had originally planned to make a decision last week but decided to put it off until next Wednesday, the day they will get neutered and their shots.  Maybe I’m just trying to put off the decision, not sure what the decision should be.  I wish the answer were more clear.


Feral (Part 2) — 8 Comments

  1. Keep the kitten! One more won’t make a big difference and it is obvious you love it. Give Dave a kiss and tell him you’ll make it you to him! Then do! Love, Coy

  2. Once again, time and patience come to the fore. It is working with “fluffy” and I am hopeful it will work for the menagerie and for you and Dave! Linda

  3. This really really made a connection with me, as you might guess. My own menagerie of 5 dogs and 5 cats, are my family, my kids. Especially since I’m on my own. But it was definitely a point of contention when Georg was still alive. He said, “Who has enough heart to give pieces of it to all these animals.” Besides the point of the expenses. I said,”At least we don’t have to clothe them and send them to college.” As I age, I notice how important it is to smile or laugh every day. Thus I seek new, “raucous” friends. And am grateful every day for the smiles caused by my canine/feline family.

  4. I have found that the cats in our lives “choose us”, not the other way around; as in human relationship, difficult to exit from those who choose us, as I have always accepted there is a reason far beyond what I know for these living beings being in our lives. Sounds like you have identified traits you may share with this little one, so perhaps lesson to be learned from watching how he deals moves about in the world? Look forward to following this story.

  5. Dear Jozeffa, I have no advice whatsoever and so much I appreciate your ongoing story and how you form yourself within the story and also let us into your/our worlds. I am struck with my own neurotic wild cat parts. Lovingly, Katherine

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