And baby makes (how many)?

Like me, my husband, Dave, comes from a blended family.  Dave’s mother died when he was 7.  A year later, his father remarried June, a widow with four children.  Immediately, June decided to get pregnant.  Years later she admitted that this was an attempt to bring the family together so that she and Dave’s father would have one child that was biologically theirs.  The baby was Jeff, now 53, an easy to love person who is one of my favorite brother-in-laws.

It is no small decision whether to bring a new baby into a blended family. If the answer is yes, consider this. When? Is the family still reeling from coming together? Are the children still grieving the loss of their parent? Are they still getting used to the stepparent? Is the biological parent feeling overwhelmed? Is the stepparent trying to figure out how to belong?

As much as a new baby brings joy, it also brings stress and exhaustion for parents. For children, they can feel displaced. A new child demands and needs parent’s time when there may be precious little time to go around to begin with.

So if you have already made the decision to have just one more child between the two of you, than know that this child, like all children, is precious and is another important member of the family.

If, however, you are deciding whether to have a child now or later, consider if waiting a little longer might make it a lot easier on everyone.


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